You may have stared down into your new-born baby’s face and seen the image of yourself or partner reflected in those unformed features, but no baby is a perfect replica and as she turns into a toddler then pre-schooler you may notice that personality-wise she’s nothing like you. You may be rather shy while she is naturally gregarious. Suddenly you realise that you don’t really know your child very well and question how you should act in the future.
Being different isn’t a drawback
If you do find yourself left wondering about how best to help your child, you should take heart from the fact that being different from your child isn’t necessarily a drawback. It can be that people are more thoughtful in parenting a child that is different. With a child who is just like you, you may assume you know what is best for him.
However there is a danger that anything that doesn't fit your idea, doesn’t actually get seen. For instance a sporty child’s clumsiness may be overlooked while another child who is clumsy is made aware of this all the time. Parents also need to allow for children to be different. So if your child is different, acknowledging the fact is a good step forward.
Expectations
Research shows that children thrive when parents have expectations for them. However expecting too much can be damaging. There may be a gap between what a parent believes a child is capable of and what he actually achieves. The knack is to find the middle ground by having expectations but being sensitive to your child as an individual. Look at the ways in which your child is different and encourage him in his pursuits.
A major pitfall for parents is when a child shows an aptitude for something about which you know very little. For example you may discover your child is good at playing an instrument - something you’ve never done. As a non-musician you may overestimate his talents and perhaps push him too hard so that what was once enjoyable for him becomes a trial.
Similarities
It could be however that a child who you thought was so different from you, has in fact many similarities. For example he may be interested in science and maths which leave you cold but he applies himself to the subjects similarly to the way you apply yourself to work or tasks. You may be an avid reader and despair of a child who never seems to sit still long enough to open a book but find that you have the same sense of humour.
One of the joys of parenting is discovering just how different each child can be and celebrating the fact. Life in families would be very boring if we were all the same - and no one was brought by the fairies!
In support of this years National Family Week, the Booktrust launches Bedtime Reading Week. A bedtime story should be every child's right and it's a geat way to wind down together at the end of their day.
Sky Song by Sharon Shant is the perfect book for anyone who enjoys a thought-provoking, gripping fantasy/sci-fi novel rooted in reality. anne Coates couldn't put it down.
Cats Ahoy written by Peter Bentley with illustrations by Jim Field and The Brilliant World of Tom Gates written and illustrated by Liz Pichon have just been announced as the winners of this year's Roald Dahl Funny Prize.
Alex Bell reviews Anne Rooney's 50 Amazing Things Kids Need to Know About Mathematics and 50 Amazing Things Kids Need to Know About Science by Penny Johnson.
Library Lily is a charming book by Gillian Shields about a little girl called Lily who loves to read then meets a new friend called Milly who prefers real life adventures to story books. Alex Bell's daughter, Pippa, was captivated by the book.
Published by Book Guild Publishing, Laura Henderson's Tricks and Mortar The Little Book of Property Wisdom encourages the reader to be realistic about home owning, writes Debbi Scholes.
Published by Soap Box Books and illustrated by Rachel Baker, Daryll Scott's first children's book, Find Another Way, is great for helping children – and parents! – to see problems in a different light and to solve them creatively.
Having always wanted to join a Stitch ’n Bitch group from the name alone but never finding the time, reviewer Debbi Scholes was delighted to find Stitch ’n Bitch Superstar Knitting, from Workman Publishing, stuffed with ideas and inspiration.
Published by Inside Pocket and illustrated by Jenny Capon, Felix Arthur's A Little Book of Alliterations is a treasure trove which will delight young children as well as more accomplished readers, writes Anne Coates.
Here Come The Monies is the first in a series of adventures for The Monies family and was well received when read to our four and a half year old tester by Olivia Coates.
A book to be read in just an hour – to transform your family relationships forever? Anne Coates turns the pages and gives her verdict on Rob Parsons' The Sixty Minute Family for Parenting Without Tears.
According to a report by the European Commission, 62 per cent of Brits can't speak any other language. On European Language Day, Oliva Coates reviews Talk 2 French - one of the BBC's new language courses - and polishes up her linguistic skills.
Fantastic magnetic shapes which actually increase in value as children get older and it's certainly fun for adults to join in with as Anne Coates discovered, playing with her granddaughter Lizzie.
Creating stability for children during divorce requires planning, communication, and practical solutions. These ensure both households operate clearly, allowing children to maintain their routines and relationships.
Whether your taste is for Mexican, Italian or French food, here are four restaurant chains offering a free child's meal when an adult orders a main course – valid throughout the school summer holidays.
Helen Little reviews this lagoon shaped pool which is large enough for all the family to enjoy if you have adequate room in your garden. The Bestway Pool is available from BM Stores.
Looking for somewhere to take the kids without breaking the bank? City farms are often free – or they ask for a donation – and offer families opportunities for wonderful interactions with a range of animals and birds.
Health Optimisation Summit explores the latest innovations, trends, and strategies in health and performance. Founder Tim Gray reveals his top health tips for making the most of your vacations.
Active Leah is a cuddly doll which says Mama, makes sucking noises when fed, burps, cries and sleeps after being gently rocked – a dream doll for toddlers and young children, writes Anne Coates.
Teddy Keen, editor and compiler of The Lost Book of Adventure, discovered the works and illustrations of The Unknown Adventurer in a sealed metal container in a remote hut on the banks of Jari River. Review by Christine Mayle.
Dr Emma Derbyshire who headed a new research review published in the journal of Gynaecology and Women’s Health Research, explains the benefits of Ubiqinol especially if you are struggling to conceive.
The Surprise Box doubles as a vending machine, adding to the excitement for slime enthusiasts. Natasha Da Souza's two daughters, loved discovering what was contained in each of the 20 golfball sized containers.
Ruth Ewing, pregnant with her first baby, takes inspiration and reassurance from this collection of birth stories shared by 30 women from the US, Canada, and the UK collected by Claire Fulton. Not all deliveries go to plan but all end on a positive note.
Puzzles, matching and recognising shapes are a precursor to learning to read and these lovely wooden animals offer a fun and educational way to begin recognising the alphabet for toddlers and young children. Review by Anne Coates.
The UK Global Health Insurance Card (GHIC) replaces the existing EHIC and can be used to get necessary state healthcare in the European Economic Area (EEA), and some other countries, on the same basis as a resident of that country.
Play is vital for fostering creativity, physical development, social skills, and emotional wellbeing. But sometimes, even exciting games can become less engaging. Here are simple ways from TP Toys to every game more enjoyable for everyone.
This set of 12 mini colouring books from Vibe Better range in subjects varying from food and holidays to aliens and cats in hats – all of them engaging and fun as well as aiding concentration, writes Anne Coates.
As part of a new menu launch, Frankie & Benny’s are introducing five seriously indulgent burgers and to celebrate they’re giving away a staggering £100,000 worth of burgers absolutely free. Get your voucher code now.
Butterfly Conservation's Big Butterfly Count runs from 18 July to 10 August and is completely free to take part in. Plus, there's a family fun pack full of activities for all ages, come rain or shine, that's sure to keep active imaginations occupied.
Three great books for older readers – adventure and romance: Alice with a Why by Anna James illustrated by Matthew Land; Amelia, if Only by Becky Albertalli and Rewind to us by Molly Morris. Perfect summer reading and gifts.
Clara Kervyn, Physiotherapist, Pilates, and Musculoskeletal specialist and Elyn Marwick, Personal Trainer, Coach and Functional Fitness Specialist advise on what to do when you're suffering pain in your feet and ankles.
In summertime, a family's thoughts turn to paddling pools and here's one which doesn't have to be inflated, won't be be punctured by animal claws, is made from slip-proof material and has eco friendly drainage – well done Peteast.
Parenting Without Tears has teamed up with Zapf Creation UK to offer readers the chance of winning one of their fabulous toys: BABY born doll, BABY born My Cat Cookie, Splish Splash Surfing Berta and Splish Splash Swimming Emma.
Frontier Publishing introduces, Ava Spark: Hello I’m Here!is the first in a brand new young fiction series, following life through the eyes of ten-year-old Ava Spark as she navigates the trials and tribulations of home, school, friendships and family.
These HECCEI sunglasses are perfect for toddlers – a lightweight nylon frame which is ergonomically designed for small faces and which changes colour in the sunshine while offering protection from both UVA and UVB rays.