Check you "niceness" rating:
- I like to be liked, so do my best not to upset people Yes No
- I hide my real feelings for the sake of an easy life Yes No
- I try to always keep things harmonious Yes No
- I sometimes get over involved in other peoples’ personal problems Yes No
- I can feel awkward asking people to do things in a certain way Yes No
If you answered "yes" to three or more of these questions you may sometimes be "too nice".
This is no bad thing when making friends, having fun or providing a good friend with a shoulder to cry on, but when you have someone working in your home, being too nice can actually make things harder for everyone.
You: If issues arise, you may shy away from bringing them up and find you are being "nice on top but cross underneath"; you may even start to resent the person who is working for you.
Your employee: You may confuse your nanny, au pair or cleaner by generally being very friendly, but at times seeming grumpy or for no apparent reason. They may presume it is nothing to do with them or become worried that everything they are doing is wrong. This may lead them to become less confident and certainly, with an occasionally irrational boss, less motivated.
Your children: They can find changes in the mood and behaviour of you and your employee confusing. This can be compounded if you end up talking to your nanny or au pair through them, for example: “Emma, why is your bedroom so untidy? You know I like it to be tidy.”
Most women find it hard to manage people in their homes because they don't want to upset them and they don’t enjoy confrontation. While there is lots of advice about how to manage people at work, there is very little about how to manage people at home.
Boundaries are blurred and emotions heightened, particularly when the care of your children is involved. However, it is possible to manage in a very warm, but constructive way, and that is what we help people to do.
Through research, NannySuccess.com has developed simple on-line questionnaires which help people look at their style when managing people in their home. They are given simple action points and guidelines on how to manage the relationship productively, without confrontation.
NannySuccess.com is happy to offer you a ten per cent discount on any of their products. Go to their site, choose the product you want and type in the code PWT 01 when prompted.
Prices from £20.
For further information visit www.nannysuccess.com or contact Georgina Walsh Walsh on 01285 810410